Your life have an emotional context and background from where you make decisions and view the world. Extended periods of a specific emotion can become moods, such as depression, that affect you over extended periods of time. Some of your emotions and moods are directly connected to how you are loved. to how you love, and to your attraction or aversion to particular sexual acts or experiences. For instance, a client with whom I worked discussed her aversion to oral sex with me and revealed that she felt the emotion of shame when she performed oral sex on her partner and even when she received it. Her shame was connected to her culture and personal experience. When she was growing up, the girls who performed oral sex were often outed and disgraced. She connected shame with oral sex. Therefore, the emotion of shame came over her whenever oral sex became the focus of discussion. Once she became aware of the origins of her shame, she began to release the shame, knowing that it had no place in her loving relationships. Gaining emotional knowledge through reflection is a vital way to learn and transform yourself into the being you wish to be.
Your body has a lot to tell you. Your general health can affect how you see the world, and as your body changes over time, your self-image often changes with them. Additionally, your body creates muscle development, neuropath ways, and chemical compositions that affect your behavior and support your current behaviors. Hence learning or changing your behavior means changing your body. Lastly, with reflection, you may even realize that your postures, tense muscles, and other bodily sensations can predict how you react to a given situation, For example, you may feel a sensation in your stomach or tension in your shoulders before you explode with anger. Your body may not respond sexually if your body does not like the situation. Your body has a lot to tell you, so reflect and listen.
For humans to make sense of the past, we give meaning to past events. If someone looks at you in a particular manner, you give it meaning. If someone does not perform a sexual act for you, like oral sex, you often place meaning on their lack of interest or inability, whether or not our meaning is true. You bring the emotional significant past with you. If you have been abused, cheated on, or pained in anyway, you have experiences that now affect your thinking. You are able to see some opportunities, but you are blind to others because your personal experiences affected your emotions and biology. You might not try something again or take a chance on loving a person who reminds you of someone from the past. By using avoidance as a way of protectiong yourself, you may avoid some pain in the future, but you will also miss out on beautiful possibilities too. To move forward in any aspect of your life, you have to reflect on the lessons you have learned over your life: Do they still make sense in the present? Are the lessons you learned in the past holding you back in any way? Your past history is a strong part of your personal erotic mythology.
Humans are born into various cultures, and we become part of other cultures as we claim and profess our sexual orientation, political affiliation, profession, etcetera. Many of my clients come from family, racial, ethnic, or religious cultures that outline how men and women should behave, whether or not any orientation other than heterosexuality is accepted, and what sex practices are considered normal. Culture like personal history can supply you with structure and direction. On the contrary, some cultures have created stories about gender, other cultures, and sex orientation in attempts to control behavior. Has any of the cultures to which you belong supplied you with any attractions or aversions that now limit your ability to grow?
Spiritual knowledge is not religious knowledge. Atheists can be spiritual beings. Spirituality is the knowledge gained from our connections with other beings, with the earth, and with the universe. It is the knowledge we gain from dreams, visions, daydreams, visitation from spiritual beings: altered states with a numinous quality that challenge the individual's established ways of construing reality. Your spiritual events have the ability to change you immediately, affecting every aspect of your life. Reflect on your spiritual world. Pray. Exam dreams. Meditate. Follow the rituals that adhere to your spiritual sensibilities. Your spiritual knowledge can give you insight into the knowledge of you unconscious world and align you with your love(s). Do not neglect your spiritual side if you want holistic change in your life, so you can find the path to change.
Your personal erotic mythology, accompanied with reflection, has the potential to free you to explore new possibilities and new erotic worlds; however, it also has the potential to enslave you if your mythology has not room for change and reflects universal reality. Explore.